Ido not agree with Schoenberg’s article on the importance ofself-disclosure in marriage and relationship because non-disclosurecould prove to be very important if information concealed caninvariably hurt the other party in a relationship. In addition, insome cases there are some vital aspects that a partner may not needto know because if they know their response and feelings mightdramatically change and affect the health of a marriage. Manyteenagers engage in activities that are not acceptable in the societyand sometimes the disclosure of such things might prove to be agargantuan burden for the other partner. In some cases,non-disclosure is directly related to a happy and healthy marriage.Nonetheless, this does not mean that communication should be derailedin a marriage by things that happened in the past or acts of shamethat one partner might have done, and may never want they spouse toknow. I strongly feel that if partners were totally open and opted todisclose everything to their lover, some marriages would not havetaken place.
Researchentail use of sample to arrive at a conclusion, and in this placegeneralization might persuade many people to think that every humanbeing behave in the same way and manner. Similar studies ought to beconducted in different parts of the world, in different cultures andwith a larger sample to arrive at a convincing paradigm.
Itis also important to note the determinant of whether disclosure isproductive of not depend on the feeling of the partners, and whethera relationship is satisfying or not. A huge number of divorces occurnot because there is lacks interpersonal relationship but because oneor both partners find that they are not happy with some of the actionor aspects of the other partner, including infidelity. Even thoughTerri Orbuch has succinctly illustrated how helpful communication anddisclosure can be in a marriage, she does not clearly show how thisdisclosure can prevent couples from hurting each other. It is trueinterpersonal communication is one of the fundamental ways throughwhich we build knowledge of one another, but it is also worth notingthat introvert may never find the incentive to disclose things totheir partners. In addition, some culture have stuck to particularnorms and practices that do not promote open communication betweenmen and women (Galvin, 2012). Therefore, quality communication isnaturally compromised in cultures that still consider women asinferior to men.
Inmany cases, it is respect that dictates the depth and quality of acommunication, when respect is eroded it is difficult for qualitycommunication to transpire. The author presupposition does notprovide a clear path to be followed when views differ, and whenpartners reject each other perception. In some case, rejection may beunconscious. Partners who dispute the things that their spouse say,in order to challenge, or to intimidate them can not find meaning inquality communication. Such attitudes may affect communication, andthis shows that in order of priority, respect come beforecommunication and quality communication can not take place in avacuum (Bevan & Sole, 2014).
Finally,gender plays a crucial role in communication. A multiplicity offactors comes into play to shape how someone communicates with apartner or another person, irrespective of sex. The role that cultureputs on genders also plays a huge role in shaping the extent to whicha person engages with other people regardless of gender. The way weare raised, also affects the way we communicate (Galvin, 2012). Thesefactors are not incorporated in the study and as such it resultsmight be misleading.
Bevan,J. L., & Sole, K. (2014). Makingconnections: Understanding interpersonal communication (2nd ed.).San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
Galvin,K. M. (2012). Communication- Couple Relationships, Family Relationships: Couple-TypeIdentification and Gender-Role Adherence.Retrieved from: http://family.jrank.org/pages/291/Communication.html
Schoenberg,N. (2011, January 17). Canwe talk? McClatchy-TribuneNews Service. Retrieved fromhttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-01-14/features/sc-fam-0111-talk-relationship-20110111_1_happy-marriages-couples-marital-therapy